In a completely unprecedented move, CUW has requested to have some of their season results altered, in order to ensure that they play in the 5pm game on Friday the 11th against Darling Dental.

The motivation behind this request has nothing to do with hockey – rather, just making sure they’re all able to “share in the groove”.

“Oh man, Now Or Never is my favorite band this side of the Mason Dixon line!” exclaimed CUW captain Rob Barnhill.  “I can’t believe the league was able to book them!  Their set is NOT to be missed, and we want to play in that 5pm game so that we can enjoy every single note.”

Seth Levine, assistant director of hockey operations for the OCHL, appreciates their enthusiasm, but doesn’t believe that they’ll be able to re-write history.

“You can’t pick when you play in the playoffs.  It doesn’t work that way,” Levine stated.  “One person’s wants and needs aren’t more important than any other person’s wants and needs.  The schedule will be announced after the games this Sunday, and then you’ve got a week to figure out how you’re going to make it work.

“This is clearly the strangest thing to happen this season, at least since everyone brought 100 bags of chips for the opening night party,” Levine noted.

In a memo sent to league management, CUW requested the following adjustments:

-Transfer wins to Gen III for their games on September 26th and October 10th.
-Transfer win to Badger Tech November 14th and proactively award them the points for March 6th.
-Transfer wins to Playerz Choice September 12th, October 31st.
-Transfer win to Darling Dental December 12th.

“This will put us right in that 4 vs 5 sweet spot, and allow us to all get good spots for the concert,” said CUW captain Ed Marquette.  “I can’t imagine anybody else wants to play the early game, so we are happy to provide that service to the rest of the league.”

Reactions have been mixed around the league.

“They’re afraid to play us, as well they should be,” said Electric Mayhem captain Josh Sulsberger, whose team currently is holding the #7 spot.  “I don’t buy this band thing.  Concordia is all about the strategery.  They want this bad.  But no, they’re going to have to go through a different band first – The Electric Mayhem.”

“It seems a bit drastic,” said Gecko Networks captain Dave Koscinski.  “It might be easier if they just finish in 1st place and get the Friday bye.  I’ve heard good things about Now Or Never.  I’m especially looking forward to the pyrotechnics.”

“Hey man, whatever distracts people from noticing how much we’ve dominated the league this year, I’m all for it,” said Gen III captain Sam Karp.