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Undisclosed Gecko Player Likely To Face Disciplinary Action

By Turk Dunlop, 01/11/17, 7:45AM CST

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Veteran forgot to buy beer

On the ice, they were celebrating a 5-0 victory over the Milwaukee Express.

In the locker room, they were starting to turn against each other.

That's what happens when someone forgets to buy beer.

"This is an internal matter," said Gecko captain Steve Giuntoli.  "We haven't decided what course of action to take yet, but that is kind of the cardinal sin of beer league hockey.  So there will be action of SOME kind.  But again, this will be handled internally.  The Gecko organization will have no further comment on the matter."

Sources, (primarily those who sought beer in the Milwaukee Express locker room after the game) indicated that it wasn't a rookie who made the mistake.  It was in fact a long-time franchise player, who forgot to buy before the game, only to find the Ice Shack closed after the game.

"We were shocked," said Dwight Larkin, who wanted to go on the record so that we knew it wasn't him.  "Once the shock started to wear off, it kind of turned into a scene from 'Lord of the Flies' in there.  Just pure chaos.  I never want to have to go through anything like that again.  A dry locker room.  That's the worst."

Some guys that were in the MKE Express locker room were not very sympathetic.

"That guy should be banned from the league forever," said MKE Express defenseman Eric Kent.  "And it takes a lot of balls to beg the team that you just shutout for beer.  Okay, maybe they didn't BEG, and yeah, I know maybe we offered since we're classy like that, but still.  That's my motivation for the next time we play them.  We're going to smoke them, and then take their beer.  In that order."

While a suspension for violating team rules has not been ruled out, sources indicate that the more likely outcome is that the offender will be sent down on a conditioning assignment to the Pettit league.