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Recent Playerz Choice News

OCHL End Of Season Chaos Continues

By Turk Dunlop 03/04/2022, 10:00am CST

In a completely unprecedented move, CUW has requested to have some of their season results altered, in order to ensure that they play in the 5pm game on Friday the 11th against Darling Dental.

The motivation behind this request has nothing to do with hockey – rather, just making sure they’re all able to “share in the groove”.

“Oh man, Now Or Never is my favorite band this side of the Mason Dixon line!” exclaimed CUW captain Rob Barnhill.  “I can’t believe the league was able to book them!  Their set is NOT to be missed, and we want to play in that 5pm game so that we can enjoy every single note.”

Seth Levine, assistant director of hockey operations for the OCHL, appreciates their enthusiasm, but doesn’t believe that they’ll be able to re-write history.

“You can’t pick when you play in the playoffs.  It doesn’t work that way,” Levine stated.  “One person’s wants and needs aren’t more important than any other person’s wants and needs.  The schedule will be announced after the games this Sunday, and then you’ve got a week to figure out how you’re going to make it work.

“This is clearly the strangest thing to happen this season, at least since everyone brought 100 bags of chips for the opening night party,” Levine noted.

In a memo sent to league management, CUW requested the following adjustments:

-Transfer wins to Gen III for their games on September 26th and October 10th.
-Transfer win to Badger Tech November 14th and proactively award them the points for March 6th.
-Transfer wins to Playerz Choice September 12th, October 31st.
-Transfer win to Darling Dental December 12th.

“This will put us right in that 4 vs 5 sweet spot, and allow us to all get good spots for the concert,” said CUW captain Ed Marquette.  “I can’t imagine anybody else wants to play the early game, so we are happy to provide that service to the rest of the league.”

Reactions have been mixed around the league.

“They’re afraid to play us, as well they should be,” said Electric Mayhem captain Josh Sulsberger, whose team currently is holding the #7 spot.  “I don’t buy this band thing.  Concordia is all about the strategery.  They want this bad.  But no, they’re going to have to go through a different band first – The Electric Mayhem.”

“It seems a bit drastic,” said Gecko Networks captain Dave Koscinski.  “It might be easier if they just finish in 1st place and get the Friday bye.  I’ve heard good things about Now Or Never.  I’m especially looking forward to the pyrotechnics.”

“Hey man, whatever distracts people from noticing how much we’ve dominated the league this year, I’m all for it,” said Gen III captain Sam Karp.

2021-22 Season To Begin Sunday Amid Chaos

By Turk Dunlop 09/07/2021, 11:45pm CDT

(Mequon) -- A memo was sent to the league players today from Commissioner Papachristou that the season would be starting in five days, and also provided recommendations on what to bring to a season-opening barbeque.

"Please plan to bring something to drink, or a side dish.  We do not need 100 bags of chips.  Meat will be provided.  If you cannot bring a side, a donation jar will be available," the memo read.

With only five days to prepare, the teams are scrambling to get ready for opening night.

"This is just too much pressure in too short of a turnaround," said Seth Levine, catering director for Playerz Choice.  "I was going to bring 100 bags of chips, but now I have to start over again.  Why wasn't this communicated sooner?"

Levine continued, "Seriously, how long have you known that we were going to do this barbeque on the 12th?  Why'd you wait so long to tell us?"

"I do kind of like the idea of 100 bags of chips, I'm not gonna lie," said Playerz Choice captain Jim Sutliffe.  "It pairs really well with Jaegermeister.  It also opens the door to many other condiments like, taco dip, onion dip, spinach and artichoke dip, salsa, nacho cheese, which really compliments the palate of the grilled meats that are being provided."

CUW forward Ron Ploeckelman, who hosted a cookout at the rink a week and a half ago, wishes the league the best of luck in their planning, but thinks they should temper their expectations.

"We planned for months.  Five days notice?  Not enough notice.  I mean, people didn't think this barbeque was going to happen until mid-October.  They made other plans of what they were going to do with their side dishes.  Although seriously, we highly recommend getting the ice cream truck, if you can.  I ate so many ice cream cookie sandwiches that day..."

Nevertheless, Josh Sulsburger, captain of the new Electric Mayhem team, is looking forward to the event.

"Oh man, this is going to be pretty epic.   I've got this great Mediterranean style zucchini fritter which is to die for.  Also a tomato and avocado bruschetta that I know everyone will love.  Maybe some jalapeno cornbread, maybe some chorizo potato salad, maybe some spiced carrot and pumpkin mash....  And 5 cases of Coors Light.  We have one of the middle games, so I'm looking forward to both the pregame and postgame action."

The memo also indicated a second barbeque on October 10th, but sources say that they'll want to see how this first one plays out.  They may have plenty of leftovers.

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